We Need A Plan

My sister Sheryl, during a recent dinner out with us, mentioned that she had begun her training for Mt. Whitney, including ten miles on the treadmill at maximum incline. She also reported that Laura, her partner, has created a training plan that includes hikes in the Great Smoky Mountains ranging from 8 to 18 miles. These are not routine statements coming from my sister. I’ve become immune to endurance junkie friends saying things like “I’m going to run 50 miles on Sunday but I might be a little tired from my 100 mile bike ride on Saturday”. But when Sheryl casually mentions a torture treadmill session that would kill me and most of my Ironman finisher friends, a little voice in my head said “Oh, shit. We need a plan.”

Later, on the drive home, Bev recounted Sheryl’s treadmill session, declaring “I’m the youngest person in the group and I’m not about to get my ass kicked. WE NEED A PLAN”. PLAN was definitely uttered in uppercase letters and rolled off of the tongue as PLAHHHN. Yes, we need a PLAHHHN. As the oldest person in the group, the odds of getting MY ass kicked are pretty damn good. I’m all in favor of a PLAHHHN. The discussion quickly moved into PLAHHHN-ing mode.

“Do you have a weight workout program that you follow at the gym?”, Bev asked.

“Kind of. I do some core work, a little bit of legs, and some upper torso.” A lot of words for “no”.

“We need a PLAHHHN.”

“I agree. We need to make a training schedule with lots of hikes.” This was my brilliant contribution to the PLAHHHN.

“We should do a hike every weekend. But I also want to keep riding and running. We need an extra weekend day for our PLAHHHN.” Mimicking a phone held to her ear, Bev has an imaginary conversation with my boss. “Hello, Ruth? Greg needs every Monday or Friday off for our training PLAHHHN. Take your pick.”

Sweet. Too bad that part of the PLAHHHN won’t happen.

“I’m thinking of vehicle pulls. Yeh. Cars or trucks pulled with a rope.”

Excellent. We won’t get our asses kicked AND we’ll be able to “take” any parking spot, anywhere.

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