It’s Tom’s Fault

We’re going to ride our bicycles across the United States.

People react differently when we tell them that we’re doing this. Strangers ask why. People who know us simply say, “of course you are”.

Both groups shake their heads, certain that something has altered our ability to exercise good judgment and overridden the human instinct to survive. They may say “wow – good for you” but their eyes say “oh dear God I hope it’s not contagious”. In fact, it is HIGHLY contagious. A lay person might call it “getting bit by the bug” but that’s too mild. This type of behavior can only be explained by something more viral in nature. Epidemiologists refer to viruses having a “Patient Zero”, the initial patient for any epidemic and from which all cases can be traced.

We have found our Patient Zero. His name is Tom. Consider the facts:

Some years ago, our friend Tom began riding double centuries. These are organized bicycle rides where you pay to ride 200 miles in one day. Most of them require you to begin riding by 4:30am in order to finish around 9:00pm. In between, you’re guaranteed to have one or more total nervous breakdowns when you will hate everybody in sight, throw your bicycle to the ground (or into an abyss) and rightfully question your reason for existing at that very moment. Once the virus took hold (first in Bev, then me), it couldn’t be contained and we were suddenly signing up for the California Triple Crown, completing three different double centuries in the same year. Patient Zero? Tom.

Once, while drinking a lot of wine, Tom said “hey – I’m thinking of Kilimanjaro for my 50th (birth year)”. The next day Bev and I walked out of Barnes and Noble with travel books on Mt. Kilimanjaro and Africa. Fifteen months later the three of us were standing on top of Kilimanjaro at 19,341 feet above sea level. Patient Zero? Tom.

Guess what else Tom has done? Yeah. He’s ridden his bicycle across the U.S. Surprise, surprise. In fairness, this one has been on both of our wish lists longer than we’ve known Tom and it would be easy to discount his role as “an inspiration”  if not for the preponderance of evidence. Patient Zero? Tom.

We’ve each done crazy things that Tom might never do (Bungy Jumping in NZ) but everyone knows that even if a body is predisposed to hosting a virus, there’s no reaction until contact is made. Have others influenced us to do things we’d never considered? Sure – but all of those people have one thing in common: Patient Zero. If you’re reading this blog, you already know Bev or me. You are warned. If you get the sudden urge to rappel off the side of a building, climb a mountain, ride a bicycle for some ridiculous and unforgiving distance, or run like Forrest Gump it’s Tom’s fault. You may never meet Tom but know that your unexplained desire to traverse the Amazon can be linked to him.

Did I mention that Tom is an Ironman? Or that he’s hiked extensively in the Himalayas and ridden his bicycle through Western Canada? Shit.