What Do You Get When…?

Some have asked about what it was like to spend seven days on the world’s tallest free standing mountain with a bunch of strangers. We were fortunate to trek with a group of amazing people without a jerk to be found among the paying customers. Sure, most people attempting an adventure like this are cut from a similar cloth, but we’ve all run across our share of rude people on the trail. In all, our team included a cop, a human resources leader, a product manager, a federal agent, a retired librarian, a Walmart associate, a chef, and a house manager. This should be the set-up for one of those “what do you get when you combine…” jokes and, of course, some say that the joke was on each of us who paid hard-earned money to sleep on the ground, eat communally in a canvas tent, and suck air through a straw with every step.

Here are a few things that I learned from this bunch on Mt. Kilimanjaro.

If you wait too long, the right time never arrives. Also, retired librarians kick ass. As the eldest member of the group, Jane scampered up rock walls like a mountain goat, putting all of us to shame. She made the trip from Colorado by herself because she “got tired of waiting” for friends and relatives to find the “right time”. Upon reaching the summit, she scattered the ashes of a hiking friend who ran out of time ten years ago.

Robin and Jane (right) – two of the toughest on the mountain

“I’m a federal agent” always sounds cool.  Mickey is a larger than life character who could have stepped right out of a Robert Ludlum novel. Over the course of the trek, we became convinced that he was really a cyborg and that one morning we’d get a glimpse of him performing minor repairs on his bionic limbs. One thing that wasn’t bionic was his huge heart. Living a “no person left behind” credo, he would give up the shirt on his back or carry every ounce of your stuff if it meant helping you get to the summit. He only LOOKED like The Terminator.

I’ll be back…

No excuses. EVERWe were all afraid of Robin, including the cop among us, who can kill with her thumbs. Robin didn’t talk much at first but she really didn’t need to. The look that said “I’ll cut you into tiny pieces and leave you for the monkeys” was plenty. Appearing at risk of being carried away by a strong wind, Robin was doubted by our American guide who questioned her ability to summit. What a foolish man. Anyone who spent ten minutes with Robin knew that she would find a way to the top. Following her Aunt’s early advice to fulfill a bucket list, she saved money from her job at an Arkansas Walmart, traveled to Africa solo and climbed to 19,340 with seven others who were certain that she might kill them in their sleep. In the span of days she went from feared serial killer to great friend.

Arkansas Tough

Not all Germans are humorless.  That’s not a joke. We met a REAL German with a REAL sense of humor. His name is Klemens the Chef. When he’s all cleaned up, he looks like Chris Noth, the actor who played Mr. Big on the TV show Sex in the City. It’s a good thing he was accompanied by his wife of 20-something years, the other half of the second most awesome couple on the trip. Otherwise, all of the single women may have forced poor Klemens to dance for dollar bills at high altitude. Unfortunately, we couldn’t cajol Klemens into putting on a chef hat and cooking a meal for us on the mountain. Apparently, the only funny German on the planet has his limits.

Klemens the Chef
Chris Noth the Actor – or is he???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goofy isn’t just a Disney character. When Bev and I reviewed the packing list from our guide company, we checked off every item. Graciella, a house manager who works with her comic German chef husband, read the same document and interpreted it as “a guideline”. Surely, “hot water bottle” was supposed to be on the gear list and the absence of “Depends” must have been an administrative oversight. A kind-hearted soul, she packed enough gear for the entire group but somehow managed to remain under the strict weight limit.

“Sure – I have some pizzas in here. How many do you want?

Some of the greatest adventures are a result of drinking wine and hearing someone say “I’m thinking of (fill in the blank).”  Especially when that someone is named Tom Erceg, who has completed Ironman races, trekked in the Himalayas, and ridden a bicycle across the United States. Thanks for letting us share your birthday adventure, Tom! You’re a pretty good guy for a Raiders fan.

I am ADVENTURE MAN!

Love can survive extreme conditions.  Bev and I are fans of the show “The Amazing Race”, a reality TV show with teams of two competing in a race around the world. We mock couples who audition for the show as “dating” couples testing their compatability under physical and emotional stress. Nearly all of them fail that experiment. Kilimanjaro was our mini-Amazing Race. Tent? No problem? Shared pee bottle? No problem? Limited dental hygiene? Gross, but no problem. Working as a team in high altitude? No trouble. We’ve seen worse and I wouldn’t want to go through it with anyone else.

No adventure too big for us

Kilimanjaro Through the Eyes of Our Guest Blogger

Traveling expands our world in uncounted ways. One of those is meeting people who are equally insane and become life-long friends. This post was written by our friend Graciela, who we met when the entire group of travelers convened at Kilimanjaro International Airport in Tanzania. It’s a wonderful description of our shared experience ascending Mt. Kilimanjaro.

In case you haven’t heard, read in the NY Times, seen us on Headline News or on the Today show, Klemens and I successfully conquered Mount Kilimanjaro – that’s 19,343 feet! Yahoo!  Here’s a little about our trip.

There were eight in our group –
Bev: Police Officer Extraordinaire and 1/2 Ironwomaner.
Greg: Banker, 100 Mile Bicyclist and Bev’s Beau

Peas in a Pod
Bev and Greg

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am ADVENTURE MAN!
Tom: Ironman and Cross Country Cyclist (FYI Tom – they now have planes, trains and automobiles for that!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Robin: Glamour Girl and Professional Hiker – her mascara lasted the entire trip – go L’Oreal!

 

 

 

 

 

Bionic Mickey scanning the terrain for predators
Mickey: Federal Agent, Special Forces, Border Patrol and possibly animal rights violator (LOL)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_4280
Jane: Our Colorado librarian and mountain goat

 

 

 

 

 

“Sure - I have some pizzas in here. How many do you want?
Klemens: Here to celebrate his 50th birthday – No Experience
Me: Along for the ride – No Experience

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In addition, we had our American guide, Zach, very knowledgable, and our two Kili guides, Killian “the mountain goat” and Robert, the strong, silent type.  To carry our eight 15 kilo bags, tents, chairs, food, tables, cooking pots, etc… we had 25 porters.  These guys are truly amazing! Earning less than $5.00/day, ill equipped and carrying 70 pounds of equipment on their heads, they would bound past us each day arriving to camp way before we did. These guys are responsible for their own gear which at their salaries is nearly impossible. Hence, one of the reasons you are receiving this e-mail.  More on this later.

The excitement began when we landed into Kilimanjaro International airport. Klemens and I thought surely one of the planes’ engines exploded. When we looked out the window for the huge fireball all we saw was blackness. Apparently, KIA has no running lights, or in fact, any other source of electricity to help the pilots know when the earth is approaching.  Welcome to Africa!

Thankfully, we all arrived safely to our hotel, the Springlands Hotel. What seemed to us the first night as possibly a one star hotel would prove to be a  5 star luxury resort on our return.  Moshi is very dusty; as hard as the staff at the hotel tried, cleaning our rooms each morning, by the afternoon everything was covered in a  film of dust, people included.  This though, would prove good practice for the days to follow.

The evening before we were to venture out, Zach did equipment checks, med checks, oxygen and pulse checks.  15 kilos was suddenly not that much weight when you consider 5 pounds of home made trail mix, peppermint patties, cough drops, protein bars, 20 hand and toe warmers (just in case), and my snow leopard hot water bottle – this was such a luxury that it really should be included on the mandatory equipment list. Zach and I did not see eye to eye on this.

Day 1
After our 8am breakfast, we all piled into the van, drove 10 minutes, stopped for gas, drop another ten minutes stopped at  a souvenir shop, drove again – well, you get the idea.  We finally arrive at Machame gate and wait some more.  Efficiency is not a term that is known here in Africa.  Permits, sign-ins, pee, weigh station, have lunch.  Are we ever going to start this adventure?! Pole Pole (pronounced pol-ay) as they say here – slow, slow. This is how we will be hiking up the mountain – pole, pole.
1pm – (I think) Finally, we all anxiously begin our trek.
From here the days blur together.  At the start of the hike it is 85′ humid, a rain forest. As we ascend, it gets cooler, the rain forest disappears and we find ourselves in a  rocky, desolate landscape. Did I mention it starts to become cold – like freezing cold.

Days 2-4
6 am – wake up. pee, wash up, dress for the day’s hike, pack your day pack, roll up your sleeping bag and air mat, pack your duffel.

7am  – breakfast – (best be packed and ready to go). Sterilize gallons of water that you will drink that day, eat, eat and pee.

8am – line up for daily pic taking and start the hike.  Switchbacks, ups, downs, arounds. Mostly ups. Robert would lead the way and the pace – pole pole.  These are the key words to ensure you arrive at the summit.

Lunch – if it’s a long day we’ll have  a box lunch/ short day arrive at camp and have lunch.  Our gourmet box lunch would consist of a piece of malnourished, emaciated chicken, a boiled egg – even the yolk was white, cookies, juice and more carbs. Really delish – you are so hungry!

Porters carrying our camp each day
Porters carrying our camp each day

Arrive at camp – pee.  The awesome porters would have arrived ahead, set up our tents (including a bathroom tent) and set our bags out.  Unpack, roll out mats, roll out sleeping bags, get head lamps out, try and set up for tomorrow.

Tea and a snack. pee and maybe a  nap.

Dinner and more peeing.  It was a lot of water you have just consumed!  Try and stay warm. The nights were very cold making it even that more difficult to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom tent.  Often at night, well, most times, it was just too far to walk the 10 feet and the ground next to your tent looked very appealing indeed.

Wake up and do it again.  Day four was notable as we hiked over a sheer cliff known as the kissing wall, did rock scrambles and some rock climbing (no ropes).  Again, the porters are doing this with our equipment on their heads! Then it was hike up, hike down and then hike back up – why don’t they just install a zip line  – much more efficient. Oh well, by this time we’re practically pros.

Day 5 – Summit night

We’ve hiked over 17,000 feet and back down to Barafu camp 15,200 feet.  Hike high, sleep low. Tonight we are having dinner at 5pm, going to bed and getting up at 11pm. Sounds fine except the air is thin, the wind is howling and it’s really really cold.  Sleep? Don’t think so.  At one point during our evening sleep, the food tent collapses causing quite a commotion.  Is our tent next? OK – really no sleeping now.

Klemens and Graciela at Barafu Camp.
Klemens and Graciela at Barafu Camp, before the wind blows everything off the mountainside.

11:00 pm – wake up. pee. The wind is howling  – 60 miles an hour.  Maybe they’ll cancel and have us hike in the morning – sounds much more reasonable.

11:30 pm – breakfast. pee.

12:00 midnight (12:15 am – Klem and I are late).  Off we go.  It’s even colder than before. Our water has frozen, no snack to take as food tent collapsed. It’s dark except for the full moon shining on us.  We look up and see headlamps way way off in the distance. very bad sign –  means we have to hike up there. Don’t look up!  Switchbacks and more switchbacks. Ankle deep in scree! Good thing it’s too dark to see. Cursing Klemens at every step.  I suddenly can’t keep my eyes open – they’re closing all by themselves.  Zach asks me how much 4 plus 3 is – I think really hard – Man! this is a hard question! Finally, I tell him it’s 7 – very proud of myself! Robert brings a  porter,Edward, over to carry my day pack. Makes sure that my mittens are on.  Pee – oh no! Please no peeing! On one break I open a gu that Robin the pro hiker gave me.  Awesome! So excited. I can’t open it. When I finally open it it falls on the ground.  Curse! Don’t know what to do.  Cursing Klem some more!

6am (ish) Stella Point – 18,500 feet (5739 meters)
OMG!! We’ve made it – well, almost! Watch the sunrise way above the clouds – stunningly beautiful! Freezing cold and those damn winds are still blowing! I’m happy to call it a day – 18,000 feet is pretty good – I’m done.  I can’t breathe.  1 1/2 hours more to go – so don’t want to do this! Where’s the spa?!!

Uhuru Peak – 19, 343 feet
We did it!! Hallelujah!! I can’t believe it!! 10 minutes and  5 pics later we are running back down to Stella Point.  Arrive Stella Point 30 minutes later – weren’t we just here? Now I really can’t breathe – getting scared. Where’s the oxygen tank??!!  Finally, Killian and I start back down – skiing down the sandy scree filled slope – Haraka! Haraka! Fast! Fast! Still can’t breathe.

3 1/2 Hours Later
Our team finally arrives back at Barafu camp where we left the night before.  It feels like a dream   Did we just do that? We have lunch and a much needed nap before hiking down another four hours to Millenium camp.  One more night on the mountain.  We all dream of hot showers and beds. Springlands Hotel sounds magical! Congrats everyone!

The Rich Porter

Here’s another post about our trek up Kilimanjaro. A few months have passed and now we look back on the experience and can’t believe we did it.  We certainly couldn’t have without people like this.

We climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro with a very rich man. He doesn’t show up on any of those Wealthiest People in the Universe lists and you won’t see him ringing the bell on a stock exchange. He didn’t graduate from an expensive business school with dreams of investment banking or start-up riches. His parents divorced when he was age 15, his Christian mother unable to pay for his education and his Muslim father unwilling. Today, this natural, self-made leader helps people from all over the world achieve their dreams, encouraging them to ignore their inner voices of doubt and find an untapped strength that they never knew existed. He urges people to push harder than they ever thought possible and to “just go”. He commands the respect of his staff, running an efficient operation with safety and customer experience as top priorities. He’s savvy with social media, has global connections, and his logo is recognized in the field. And the only place you’ll meet him is on the tallest free-standing mountain in the world.

Kilian Christian is a 27-year old Tanzanian guide on Mt. Kilimanjaro. After two years of living on the streets of Moshi following his parents’ divorce, he decided that he needed to take control of his life and joined the ranks of Tanzanian men who are fortunate to be hired as a porter on the mountain. In the hierarchy of support staff on a Kilimanjaro trek, there are regular porters, toilet porters, assistant cooks, cooks, and guides. The guide is also the camp boss, supervising all of the staff and ensuring that everything runs smoothly. The porters, earning an average salary of $6USD per day, carry all of the camp gear and most of the personal gear belonging to the trekkers. Each porter hauls up to 30 pounds, carrying it on his head while scurrying up the mountain. The toilet porter is responsible for maintaining and carrying the camp toilet and understandably receives a slightly higher wage. The support team breaks down camp each morning after the trekkers leave and sets it up again at the next site before they arrive. Our group of eight was supported by 25 Tanzanians. Several of them were spotted at the end of the trek proudly wearing Team Kilian shirts.

Kilian’s career as mountain guide began as a regular porter. He only spoke Swahili but quickly figured out that the path to success required learning English. He began by gathering up functional phrases from trekkers, asking them to write down words that he heard tossed about. Good morning. Thank you. Is everything okay? At the end of each trek, he practiced those words and learned new ones with each arriving group. With little formal training, Kilian mastered English well enough to pass the exams required to become a guide. In ten years on the mountain, he has become nearly fluent in English and functional in multiple languages, encouraging weary trekkers to “just go” in many tongues?

By his own count, Kilian has accompanied groups up Mt. Kilimanjaro over 230 times. Even using a conservative estimate, this means that nearly 2,000 people have been led, emotionally lifted, or physically supported by this gentle and remarkably strong man in their attempt to reach the highest point in Africa. He’s carried packs, hauled supplies, administered emergency aid, and choreographed a complex production to ensure the success of every trekker and team member. So many people are indebted to Kilian for achieving a life goal and checking another box on the bucket list.

After ten years and nearly 3.5 million feet of elevation gain, Kilian has reached the pinnacle of his career on Kilimanjaro. He dreams of immigrating to the United States, where he could develop his talents to new levels. Even with a U.S. based guide company willing to sponsor him, the immigration path is long and uncertain. In our world, natural leaders who can communicate with customers in multiple languages become high-paid consultants. In Kilian’s world, those skills get you to the top of your field in your mid-20s. In our world, people whine about paying $4 for a gallon of gas to fuel their car. In Kilian’s world, people beg for a job carrying tourists’ belongings up a 19,340′ mountain for $6 a day.

On the mountain, where Kilian seems the happiest, none of this matters to him. His huge smile and infectious laugh is the same in the thick air of the cloud forest as it is in the rarified air of the glacier summit. Always calm under pressure, his confident and positive demeanor didn’t change when the dining tent blew away in the dark during a severe windstorm at 15,000′ elevation or when several members of our group suffered increasingly severe symptoms of altitude sickness. Happily singing on the trail and doing acrobatic handstands on panoramic overlooks, Kilian is the embodiment of embracing life and refusing to accept a hand dealt as fate. And all of that makes him a very rich man.

 

Red States and Blue Pills

Here’s a little bit of reflection on Tanzania, mixed with some cultural and political commentary (yes, I hear the groaning), ending with a great line from my hilarious sister.

One of the experiences that has stuck with me from Tanzania is the quiet strength of women in their culture. Their physical strength, carrying a remarkable amount of weight on their heads, was surpassed by the strength of their presence and character. The owner of Zara Tours, the company that owned the hotel where we staged for our trek, is a woman and while that was unusual in Tanzania, it was one small sign of progress on a continent that has posed immense struggles for women.

It was also a relief to spend two weeks in a country that had never heard of Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, or Newt Gingrich. Of course, everyone knew of Barrack Obama and we even saw a small roadside stand that said “Obama ’08” and, at the bottom, “The Hillary Clinton Shop”. It was unclear what the stand’s original purpose was or what the proprietor used to sell in the Hillary shop, but like all things done in “Africa time”, four years later there was no urgency to remove it .

After visiting a relatively progressive third world country, it was startling to return home and hear our GOP presidential candidates, each vying to be the leader of the free world, outmaneuvering each other to strip women of their right to make reproductive decisions, while supporting efforts to grant employers the power to deny insurance coverage for any procedure, prescription, or treatment that they have a moral objection to, including contraception. According to the United Nations, more than 200 million women worldwide who want to use contraceptives do not have access to them. Women in many developing countries walk miles to the nearest health clinic in search of birth control, only to return home empty-handed due to severe shortages. Yet, here in the most developed country in the world, where contraception is readily available, men are campaigning to become President on a platform that  declares outright war on women. As a very smart woman I love has noted, none of the Republican candidates are lobbying to have Viagra banned by insurance companies. Maybe it’s time to take away Rick Santorum’s little blue pill.

All of this leads to an email exchange with my sister, a progressive who happens to live in Tennessee. Our online conversation took place following the announcement that Rick Santorum had won the GOP primary in her home state. You should also know that my sister is one of the funniest persons in the whole wide world and that includes Bev, who everyone knows is pretty damn funny. (Oh, and before anyone gets all twisted in knots over this, I DO know that women vote Republican. Many of them are in their right mind. I also divorced one of them.)

ME: “Santorum? Really? You live among vey disturbed people.”

SISTER: “Um… yeah. Apparently Romney wasn’t religious enough.”

ME: “Since no woman in her right mind would vote for any of the Republican candidates (except maybe those who live under Taliban rule and don’t realize that the Stone Age is over), what really puzzles me is how the GOP kept all of the women in Tennessee locked up and away from the polling places on Election Day.”

SISTER: “They put aspirin between their legs and hence, couldn’t drive to the polling places.”

My sister is SO awesome.