I thought my sister attended California State University at Long Beach. I thought my girlfriend attended University of California, Berkeley. Apparently they both graduated “with highest praise” from Trash Talk U.
Here’s an excerpt from an email within hours of learning that we’d won the Mt. Whitney permit lottery:
Bev,
I heard that you are working up a “PLAN” to make sure you aren’t left behind. Now that Mt. Whitney is looking like a reality, you better step up your game. Hahahahaha!!
Sheryl
And the response:
Listen you over there in TN, where our CA weather decided to roost this winter, my plan (proper pronunciation: PLAAAAHHHHNNNNNN) has been derailed by awful weather this winter. Without warning, the Bay Area became part of the Pacific Northwest and I found myself reading Internet articles such as, “Appropriate Footwear for Winter Deluge” and “Don’t Be S.A.D.: How To Successfully Use Artificial Light To Prevent Seasonal Affect Disorder And The Unnecessary Murder Of Those You Find Irritating.”
By the way, I’m not afraid of your challenge — I have faith in the PLAAAAAAAHHHHHHNNNNNN. (Please note that I’m not morally opposed to pushing someone off the side of the mountain to make sure I’m not last.)
Take that, you Tennessee Trash Talker!
When I was a kid in Boy Scouts, I loved tromping around in the woods and finding interesting stuff in nature. One of the coolest things to find was a good walking stick. If it was the right weight and height, you could swing that stick, poke stuff with it, beat it against trees, and when you got bored with it, test your javelin skills. Using it for walking was pretty low on the list of applications for a good stick. That’s what your legs were for.